Today, my adorable Jesse discovered the excellent acoustics of our bank's lobby by using the FULL capacity of his very, healthy lungs.
It was supposed to be a quick and easy little trip to the bank to make a deposit for Jesse's daddy. Easy being the key word. As I was attempting to fill out a deposit slip with one hand and hold Jesse with the other, he suddenly decided he no longer wanted to be held. Ordinarily, he prefers for me to hold him when we're in places he's not familiar with. Not today, folks. Instead he wriggled and squiggled until he was practically falling out of my grip. To make it even better, he accompanied his movements with the not so sweet music of whining which led to squealing, which led to crying, and finally landed with all out screams...much to my embarrassment.
By this point, we're already getting a few stares from the other patrons and I can feel my cheeks getting hot. The receptionist, whom we were standing near asked me kindly, over Jesse's wails, what he wanted. Oh, how I wish I could tell her. I knew I was only guessing at what Jesse wanted when I told her he only wanted down. But since he can't tell me anything, I seriously didn't have a clue and that just sucked.
Now, I'm not the kind of mom that has EVER let her kids run free in restaurants, libraries, grocery stores, bank lobbies, etc. I'm usually the one that is resisting the urge to reprimand the children who are allowed to run wildly about. It's just so rude and inconsiderate for others and the kids don't learn to behave.
However, after answering the receptionist, she smiled sweetly at Jesse and told me, "Just let him down to run. It'll be okay, hon." There was a fear that passed over my face I'm sure. So I looked around at the crowded lobby of irritated people who were all looking back at Jesse and me. I looked down at Jesse's tear-stained face and I just had to let go of my pride and let him run.
As his kicking feet touched the floor, I prepared myself for his onslaught of the magazines piled up on the table in the lobby. Instead, there was moment of hushed silence and then everyone smiled as they watched as this adorable, light-brown headed, blue-eyed little boy danced about on the floor right next to me, not going anywhere.
That's when I heard it. There was music quietly playing over the bank's speakers. I'd never noticed it before. But my Jesse did. He'd heard it and all he wanted to do was just dance to it. I watched him happily dancing, oblivious to anyone around him and it struck me that it was my pride and embarrassment that was the problem. How often do we keep ourselves tied up and stuck in a box because we're afraid we might get looked at strangely or someone might say something about it?
Even though Jesse does have to learn the rules of society, I hope he never loses his ability to express himself without hesitation and to keep on dancing as though nobody's watching.
